Depression Much?

It’s ridiculous how depressed I’ve become. I seem like such a happy girl to other people. I put on this show so people leave me alone. I’m not happy, confident, or poised like I once was. I don’t have friends like I used to. I don’t hang out with my family like I used to. Hell I don’t even talk to them anymore. I don’t trust people like I used to. I don’t like school anymore. It seems like my life has turned completely upside down. I cry tears of sadness rather than tears of joy. I don’t like any of the things I used to. Instead of wondering about all the cool things I’m going to do during the year, I wonder if I’ll make it. I wonder if I won’t have committed suicide by then. Sometimes things seem great. The next day I’ll be in one of these slumps for who knows how ling. Part of me wanted to turn back to the drugs and the alcohol. But I’ve been doing so well staying away from them. I don’t want to relapse. Things are blurry enough as they are now. Music will be my drug.