In Loving Memory of Tyler.

An older version of my math teacher...

So today was officially a very frustrating day. I. hate. My. Math. Teacher. Fucking psyco ass bastard. Whatever. I’m going to bed now. Ill post more about it tomorrow. Sweet THIN dreams lovelies, XX Sarah

P.S. Here’s my final copy of my Essay about Tyler, my friend who passed away a few months ago. It’s been about 4 and a half months now...

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English VI

3 September 2010

Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken or an ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

A Life and Death Transformation

I had the sudden realization that we were nearly two hours into chemistry class. I squinted my eyes at the whiteboard and attempted in vain to tune into the teacher’s voice. It was useless. Even breathing seemed like a conscious effort right now. I forced myself to my feet and then focused on putting one foot in front of the other as I walked to the front of the class and handed the teacher my pass. Then I numbly went to the bathroom and changed into the freshly ironed, black outfit I would wear to one of closest friend’s funeral. I went outside to wait for my ride. She was almost twenty minutes late. Flustered, she pulled up and explained that she’d gotten a speeding ticket. I stared at her in disbelief. Didn’t she know that speeding could kill you? Was I the only one who had been confronted by my own mortality? The ride to the church I had attended as a child was glum one. Music was playing but no one was talking. I felt devastated and empty.

We were some of the first to arrive, followed closely by familiar yet anguished faces. After being inside the church for ten minutes, I already needed fresh air. I went outside to sit on the steps leading up to the church. Moments later, the hearse with Tyler’s lifeless body pulled up, followed by limousines of his family. Slowly, his grieving family filed out one by one and gathered around the hearse. By this time most people had arrived for the service and were gathering. Tyler’s football team carefully lifted the coffin onto the rolling table and wheeled him inside. I sat in the second row, looking directly at the pictures of Tyler, gleaming with joy. I recognized many of the pictures as ones I had taken of him. All the pictures were candid moments, reflecting the joy Tyler brought during his years on Earth. Eventually I forced myself to look at Tyler’s coffin, centered in front of the stage. People were crying and whispering all around me. The service started. Memories and flashbacks flipped through my head like scenes from movies. I felt like I was out of my body watching from above, like this was all a dream, but it wasn’t. We walked Tyler’s coffin to the graveyard and said our final goodbyes. Reality hit me as people began to wander back into their cars. Tyler XXXXX was really gone and I knew, in a better place. The numbing sorrow faded and was replaced with a sense of comfort. I’ll never forget Tyler, and I’ll never forget that day. But while I’ll never forget the past, but I also won’t live in it. It was Tyler’s death that made life tangible to me. Tyler taught me to cherish each day and live it fully. In many ways my life started that day. Now, I’m living my life to pursue my passions and dreams.


Miss you bud, hope you found your happiness.