Journey to the Thin Side.

It's not much of a loss, but 155.1 is what I weighed in to be this morning. One pound at a time bitches. I was so happy when I saw that number this morning. Today I thought about b/p a chocolate cake that’s been at my house for about a day.. it looks SO good. But I didn’t. I took one bite and spat it out. I do that with a lot of sweets like cookies and what not. Just so I get the taste and not the cals. I even chewed and spit Cheetos once. Speaking of which, my dad went shopping today. He bought all this nasty unhealthy shit. Compared to other households in America, my house is EXTREMELY healthy. No soda. No chips. No candy. No milk over 1%. Practically low-fat everything.. But lately we’ve been buying chips!! Which is a problem because I love them. I will not give in. I will not give in. I don’t care how many times I have to say it, I will not give it.


I feel depressed and invincible at the same time. I have like zero friends right now. It’s hard. I feel so alone. I’ve never felt like that before. I was always the “it” girl. Or at least I was the last two years. I wonder what changed. It’s probably my fault. For the last 6 months or so I’ve really distanced myself from friends and family. It just makes it easier. I don’t need to explain why I don’t want to go out for pizza with my friends. I don’t need to make up excuses to get out of dinner. I’m busy with school and work now too, so I can just make my meals when I like. I really like this actually. Minus the no friends part. I feel so independent though.

Today I had 100 cals of tuna mixed with lettuce, tomato, celery, and pickle on an English Muffin. All that came to a total of 259 cals. I also had 1/2 of a mango (90), 1/4 cup of low-fat cottage cheese (45), and an apple (106). Total of the day: 499, which is the most I’ve eaten all week! I honestly feel bad for eating that apple a few minutes ago. I wasn’t that hungry, so I should’ve just toughed it out. Oh well. Tomorrow will be better loves.
Oh yeah! Tonight is a college fair at our school. I’m meeting my parents up there in 30 minutes or so and then going to H’s dad’s volleyball game to work on math with her. We might even get to play a bit, which would be fun and burn calories too!!

Rosette- Yeah, hopefully it gets easier within the next few weeks. It feels good weighing in and seeing the big results though. THX, Sarah.

Acka11- Well I wasn’t too clear about that, he’s not my dealer. I’m trying not to do any drugs at the moment. Trying.. He’s a guy that kinda likes me, but I write about a lot of people in this blog so I just said the dealer so people can remember who is who easily. Thanks hun.

Sarah- I did almost all of it. Thanks love.

XX Sarah

UPDATE:

College fair was awesome. There were 150+ colleges, roughly 25 of which I’m interested in. After that I was supposed to go with H, but she told me she was too sick and was going home. BTW; she's lost 5.8 pounds in the last week. Congrats girl! So anyways, I called her. No answer. She called me a hour later saying she was with my ex, C. WHAT?! Apparently he was at that volleyball game she “wasn’t going to anymore.” Bitch. I think she went with my ex best friend, M, but I’m not gonna call her out on it. I don’t care if she didn’t want me to come anymore. I went on a mile interval run/walk/jog. Then I came home and started looking around at blogs. I found an amazing one. You should def follow her. Click Here to view her blog! I love her style of writing. It’s overall extremely well written. She seems just amazing.

Acka11- I know. I’m trying to get sober. Some day. And I know I shouldn’t feel bad about the apple. But I do. Hopefully I don’t have to go to the doctor soon. Or ever really. She commented on my weight loss last time I was there. I mean since my big gain, I’m sure I’m where I was at that point, but still. She needs to back off. Hahah.

Rosette- Thanks again so so so much. I made an account on a few. It’s gonna be a great help!