Thank You (:

So I’m pretty sure I caught up on all of your blogs tonight. I try to comment on most of them because I know that I love reading your comments!

By the way, I’ve been meaning to thank all of those who follow me and especially those who comment on my posts. Words cannot explain how much your comments mean to me. I feel like you guys are the only ones that understand. You’re the only ones I can vent to, cry to, and share my joy with (: THANK YOU, THANK YOU, and THANK YOU.

I don’t think I’m severely depressed anymore, just sad. And I’ve come to the conclusion that when I restrict and control my food, it makes me happy. I feel good for accomplishing something. When I eat so much shit like I used to, I feel like shit! So basically fuck food!

Today went pretty well.. I was extremely lightheaded when I woke up this morning. Almost passed out. Nbd. Hannah, Fitz (that’s her nickname), and I ended up not going to the Lake of the Ozarks this weekend, honestly I’m kind of glad we didn’t either! I had so much fun at work today.. I’ll talk about that more in a sec. I woke up, showered and got ready and then went over to this girl named Kelsey’s house to work on our Rube Goldberg Project. We worked on it for 2 and  half hours and got everything all planned out and everything spray painted a really pretty aluminum silver color. After that I went to work which was so much fun because I worked with Nick and Marco, NOT T!! ((:

It was joyous.

Intake:

Eggs w/ Onions (163)

Salad (240)

Outtake (at work): 686

Net: -283

I might have a rice cake later if I get super hungry. Unlikely though, I’m not right now. But ill add another 35 cals just in case. So net cals of -248.

Thinspo of the day: Jaslene Gonzalez

Stay strong lovelies!!

XX Sarah

Yeah, Uhhuh You Know What It Is...

BLACK & YELLOW
I had a really shitty day today. I can’t stand working at Subway anymore, T is just SO fucking rude. And the fact that he’s the owners favorite worker doesn’t help at all, I can’t say anything about him. Today there was a piece of bread messed up that we couldn’t sell, but that we could eat. So my coworker wrote it off and asked if I wanted it. I said I would take it home and I put some veggies on it.. then T comes up and tells me “I’m stealing from the store and he would never do that and blah blah blah.” Umm hello? We do that all the time. It’s not stealing because I did it in plain sight and other employees do this shit all the time. Stop being such a douche and go jump in a hole and die. I really think I’m quitting. Seriously. I just need to find another job first so I’m not unemployed, that would be bad.


T actually gets under my skin so much that I was SO close to binging. I thought it through, looking at that big ass sandwich, and decided against it. Eating doesn’t make me happy. It only makes me feel guilty.

I work tomorrow from 3-close but I think I’m going to call in “sick”. I don’t care if they’re short people. Fuck that place. Now I normally wouldn’t do this, but H invited me to go to the Ozarks, so naturally I said I’d love to go!! (: good thing it’s not bikini season anymore, I look super gross.

Intake:

Salad (235)

Sandwich (150)

Rice cake (35)

Outtake: apparently I burned 400+ cals at work?

Some Nicole Richie Thinspo:

Just Gonna Stand There and Watch Me Burn......

Love that song. (:
So today I fasted successfully. (:


I’ve been thinking about doing the Atkins, where you eat pretty much no carbs and as many calories as you want. Well that’s just the induction phase. You’re supposed to lose 15+ lbs. in 2 weeks! That would be nice, I just really have to do all my research for it. There certain foods you absolutely cannot eat, and one you have to eat. It would take a lot of time to plan out, which is something I’m not sure I have. Plus you’re not supposed to drink on it… which also is a problem… idk. I can probably stop drinking for 2 or more weeks, that’s what weed’s for right? Haha

I talked to my dad about not going to Germany for winter break… I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get out of it, he says it will be the last time I’ll see my gma because apparently he thinks by the time I would go back at the beginning of summer, she will be dead? Idk. I don’t think I can put myself through another family vaca this year. It’s impossible to hide that I don’t eat around them. Then I just get into this HUGE BED like I’ve been in for the last 4 months because of that last fucking vacation. Fuck that. I feel like shit.

Hannah and I are becoming rather close again. I hate that we will be best friends for a week or two, and then we fade apart and don’t talk for a week or two. It’s annoying as hell. Especially since I know she’s hanging out with my ex best friend during those few weeks we don’t’ really hang out. You might be wondering why can’t she just balance both of us? Or why my ex best friend holds grudges like a motherfucker? Those questions I cannot give you answers to. I would like to know though. Lol

Intake: water and 2 cups coke zero.

Thinspo of the day:  Victoria Beckham

Hmmmmm.

How long till I’m happy?


It’s so fucking ridiculous how unhappy of a person I am.

Anyways today was our first senior skip day. I think at least 50 people skipped, which is an alright turnout considering how early it is in the school year still. My dad is being an asshole and won’t excuse my absence. I’m gonna try to get a friend to do it for me. I doubt it will work though. I’ll probably get a detention and won’t be able to make up my missed assignments. I wish my dad would just call me in like everyone else’s parents did for them. He took my car to Chicago again so mow I’m stuck with the fucking escalade or the van. Ugh.

Last night = crazy. I went over to my friend Samantha’s house, yeah I’m using names again not initials anymore. Lol. And her mom spent the night at her boyfriend’s house so she had a few people over. I think there were like 10 of us. Sam got super drunk and put herself in a relationship with a guy who was at her house. Long story short it was just a drunk impulse and she took it off Facebook first thing this morning. I was hangover all day today, and slept most of the day too. I had at least 5 double shots and then another shot or two in my chaser, so I’m surprised I didn’t puke everywhere. I was actually at a good level of drunk. Oh yeah. I smoked too. Me and a friend split a blunt and then me and 3 other friends split a blunt too. I was so fucked up… I love Halloween.

Still haven’t weighed in yet. I don’t think I’ve lost anything anyways. I had a lot of fucking candy last night and during the day today. I have a weak spot for Resses. -_-

So here’s my diet I’m doing, I hope to lose at least 25 pounds in the next two months. This will only work if I stick to it. No off days. I can do this. I’ve done it before. It’s just my mind set that needs to be right. I think I can do this. I KNOW I can do this. I will do this.

Pretty much exercise is key. I’m going to be working out 4+ times a week. Diet wise, there aren’t many rules. Just stay under 500 cals a day. One day a week if needed can be under 1000. Since I’m gonna be working out a lot I’m going to want to feed my body good energy, so I’ll be motivated not to eat shit like candy and ice cream.

Loser Town says I can lose 30 pounds by new years. Let's see.